10/22/2024

sometimes i have a hard time with executive dysfunction in the mornings and it's really easy to spiral and think "yay another morning of doing nothing because i couldn't get myself to start that thing!!

i don't like feeling that way first thing in th morning but i've found that what helps the most is eating, taking vitamins, taking my meds, and uhhh caffeine is pretty good too

and then i start thinking about the million things i WANT to do and it gets hard to slow down and remember what i can realistically do with the three hours i have in the morning before i need to get going to work

smoking weed is usually a winner for spending my time and sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't... i think it's at its most beneficial when i smoke right after eating and getting my natural "juices" flowing i guess

i really want to cook/bake something today, banana bread has been on my mind as well as... *drumrolls* .... sea urchin. i really want to get fresh sea urchins after wwork and eat. sea urchins. i have a feeling that is it likely i will be trying sea urchins for the first time this week LMAO

as for a creative thing i'd like to do today, working on my website is always a good first step, even if it's solely writing this jounral log, i'm glad i still get myself typing on the computer. otherwise maybe tidying my room could feel really nice for me today, i want to eventually have photos of my room on my website once i'm more "proud" of it, which probably is going to require a lot of rearracning all of my little guys :3

anyways... i will do my best today! even though i'm off my meds again, i want to strive to feel good on my own.